Lmao this is why we all chose to be Rover owners...

southside · Post by **southside** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:42 pm

and not buy a Vauxhall and join there forum and have to read posts by chavs like this....

http://www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard ... .php?t=714

Leo · Post by **Leo** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:47 pm

Have to say, that's a nice looking Corsa

But the bit about putting the seats down to reduce weight had me :roflmao:

!!!

216si · Post by **216si** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:48 pm

lmao

me mate has one of them 1.2 corsa's fully irmsher'd up and tbh it's a stunning looking car, just lacking the grunt required untill he gets his calibra turbo transplant that is

ChrisD · Post by **ChrisD** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:49 pm

Be right back going to go and put my seats down and inflate my tyres for some grip.

Post by **MarkCoupe** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:49 pm

What a complete penarse!! Gotta love it when know it alls actually try and factually explain a load of danglies deluxe.

Big up da Rover posse, booyackasha

C2K · Post by **C2K** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:53 pm

I can do better than that.. the bench seat comes out on the 306. Instant weight saving!

zozzie_9t9 · Post by **zozzie_9t9** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:56 pm

Police_Driver wrote:Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice.

That's superb!

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:03 pm

Taine · Post by **Taine** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:08 pm

On the plus side: he can form a sentance using correct spelling and punctuation. I was impressed.

Tom™ · Post by **Tom™** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:09 pm

HAHAHAHAHA

Podman · Post by **Podman** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:27 pm

ooo ooo ooo I wnat one !!!!

escpecially cos it's fast cos all teh cuuby holes etc are empty and it only carrys one (poor sad little boy lol) and taht 38psi in the tires makes it faster too. Wonder if he's got one of them super power 20bhp increase mods from ebay

Leo · Post by **Leo** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:35 pm

Power Resistor of Justice!!

Sheaf · Post by **Sheaf** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:42 pm

Leo wrote:Have to say, that's a nice looking Corsa

Agreed, looks a tidy little car. As the guy said, the body mods are subtle and nice.

However, the other stuff he came out with is rather amusing. Not sure if it's a wind up or not

BOFH · Post by **BOFH** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:46 pm

The ironic thing is he's actually wrong... COMPLETELY wrong. The weight of an object (in Newtons) is it's mass multiplied by the force due to gravity. This increases the closer to the earth you get. Therefore, having the seats fully upright actually REDUCES the effect due to gravity of the mass of the seats, as the distance from the center of the earth is increased.

Albeit by miniscule amounts, but quite funny nonetheless.

Post by **Punx0r** » Tue May 23, 2006 9:58 pm

Anyone else worried that this guy might actually be police persuit driver?

As said, he's well spoken though - credit there.

Just wondering how Southside stumbled across this little gem... Closet Corsa owner maybe?!

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:00 pm

heh, i think your onto something there

come on southside, admit it! your a vauxhall boy!!!

southside · Post by **southside** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:14 pm

nah i'll be honest i nicked it off another forum.lol :oops:

Capri · Post by **Capri** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:17 pm

Oh my. That's just brilliant. Pure genius. It's so good, I don't even know where to start as regards ripping the sh*t out of it. :lol:

Podman · Post by **Podman** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:29 pm

BOFH wrote:The ironic thing is he's actually wrong... COMPLETELY wrong. The weight of an object (in Newtons) is it's mass multiplied by the force due to gravity. This increases the closer to the earth you get. Therefore, having the seats fully upright actually REDUCES the effect due to gravity of the mass of the seats, as the distance from the center of the earth is increased.

Albeit by miniscule amounts, but quite funny nonetheless.

Oh dear.......I think I have gone cross eyed ! hehe

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:35 pm

thinking on it, regardless of up or down, and the differences in weight of the components, they all have mass, which needs to be accelerated, so it makes no odds up or down

probably better have them down though, more weight towards the front of the car, increasing traction for the 0-60 sprint

rnash2002 · Post by **rnash2002** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:35 pm

Thats just funny lol,only run with Â£10 of fuel in the tank :lmfao:

benno_bro · Post by **benno_bro** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:37 pm

rnash2002 wrote:Thats just funny lol,only run with Â£10 of fuel in the tank

is that not a full tank in one of them? :roll:

Podman · Post by **Podman** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:41 pm

benno_bro wrote:
rnash2002 wrote:Thats just funny lol,only run with Â£10 of fuel in the tank

is that not a full tank in one of them?

Don't be so damn stupid !!!

it's Â£12 for a full tank lol

Null_Byte · Post by **Null_Byte** » Tue May 23, 2006 11:21 pm

dear god, stop the planet and let me off :roll:

Liam Olf · Post by **Liam Olf** » Wed May 24, 2006 12:22 am

So, according to his laws of physics, by fastening my seatbelt I am spreading the downward force of it accross my hips, rather than concentrating it on one area of the car?

Phwoar! Bring it on M3 CSL! :roll:

CESSNA185 · Post by **CESSNA185** » Wed May 24, 2006 12:38 am

my sister used to have 1 a theese and tbf it didnt have enof power to pull a jews foreskin back

Thats the funniest thing Ive heard all week

calibrax · Post by **calibrax** » Wed May 24, 2006 12:45 am

I wonder... I was going to go on a diet to lose weight, maybe all I need to do is simply lie on the floor....

So, let me see...

I've filled my tyres with helium to reduce weight. I don't smoke, so there are no particulates in the cabin adding to the weight... and the ashtray is empty. Oh, and one of my headlights is dead, so the filament has burned away and become gas... so that reduces the weight even further. I also make sure that I take a dump before I drive anywhere, and I make sure that any money I'm carrying is only in notes, no coins. I also shaved my pubes and had a circumcision, all to make my car that little bit quicker. My fingernails are kept trimmed, and I went into hospital last week to have my appendix, spleen and left kidney removed. This car is going to be QUICK.

Now I'll put Ferrari Enzo badges on it, it's only right because it's got to have more power than a standard Ti... :mrgreen:

mach1rob · Post by **mach1rob** » Wed May 24, 2006 1:39 am

calibrax wrote:I wonder... I was going to go on a diet to lose weight, maybe all I need to do is simply lie on the floor....

So, let me see...

I've filled my tyres with helium to reduce weight. I don't smoke, so there are no particulates in the cabin adding to the weight... and the ashtray is empty. Oh, and one of my headlights is dead, so the filament has burned away and become gas... so that reduces the weight even further. I also make sure that I take a dump before I drive anywhere, and I make sure that any money I'm carrying is only in notes, no coins. I also shaved my pubes and had a circumcision, all to make my car that little bit quicker. My fingernails are kept trimmed, and I went into hospital last week to have my appendix, spleen and left kidney removed. This car is going to be QUICK.

Now I'll put Ferrari Enzo badges on it, it's only right because it's got to have more power than a standard Ti...

Of course you forgot the Miami Vice diet, wear espidrills and NO socks! Should save another gram or 2 :wink:

Sheaf · Post by **Sheaf** » Wed May 24, 2006 6:29 am

Anyone remember that top gear where Clarkson went on about the effects on fuel economy of having a moustache? Reminds me of that.

C2K · Post by **C2K** » Wed May 24, 2006 8:00 am

Scott wrote:probably better have them down though, more weight towards the front of the car, increasing traction for the 0-60 sprint

Lower CofG too for elite cornering skills.

Glynn · Post by **Glynn** » Wed May 24, 2006 8:28 am

Haha!

I wish id of thought of these power mods befor i ripped my vvc lump out.
I might go and put a "Glynn and Deb" visor in today as thats goto be good for 40bhp extra, This and the aero wax and i recon i could see 500bhp

Goto laugh at the lad

Glynn

Raistlin · Post by **Raistlin** » Wed May 24, 2006 8:35 am

Wonderful - can he REALLY be serious?

Weird Science?

Wonder if I can get my drivers seat-back flat enough to "shave" a second or two off my 0 - 60 time?

Grant??? New modification on my car please

As has already been said- who needs a diet if you can achieve the same effect lying flat?

shaggy · Post by **shaggy** » Wed May 24, 2006 9:03 am

Feckin quaility

zozzie_9t9 · Post by **zozzie_9t9** » Wed May 24, 2006 9:07 am

rnash2002 wrote:Thats just funny lol,only run with Â£10 of fuel in the tank

Don't laugh, my car often has very little petrol in it! However I end up doing that 'cos I'm not very well organised... :whistle:

Grawolf · Post by **Grawolf** » Wed May 24, 2006 9:10 am

Now I'll put Ferrari Enzo badges on it, it's only right because it's got to have more power than a standard Ti...

Where is the emotion that shows you smacking your head on the desk and rolling round on the floor in laughter :roflmao: